It’s truly sad that we set aside a day to focus on a word that is oft misrepresented and misunderstood. It’s not even easy to define. Some toss it around cheaply. Others rarely, if ever, say it. Love. The secret potion behind Valentine’s Day.
For those who grew up in a home without love, or distanced from any such home, you can see why the word is problematic. In its most basic form, a child should feel fully accepted, encouraged, supported, nurtured, and valued. That should be “normal” home life. The kind that produces healthy adults. A “loving” home.
It often isn’t. And to whatever degree those aspects of family love are missing, a search will be on to find others who offer it. Dark roads may ensue.
Acting out for attention in various ways gets you noticed. Even as a small child. Finding support in friends who are not really friends can eventually lead to gangs or peers who lack judgment. Leaning on approval from teachers, “friends,” or older students and adults can make you vulnerable to their wishes for your life. Another dark path.
Eventually, the question deepens: why can’t people accept me for being…me? Or maybe said this way, “Why am I so hard to love?”
Valentine’s Day pushes the envelope on our inner search. Romance seems the secret behind true love. Magazines, Instagram, and media advertising show happy couples who have found their mate. Some who will even say, “You complete me.” How perfect. How unreal.
This is readily proven by the amount of unfaithfulness and breakups in our society. How can this be? Couples march down the aisle and make promises to love and cherish till death parts them. Or marital infidelity. Or the reality that the two were not really “compatible.” Bottom line of a broken marriage: you’re not worth the work.
In that wake, there are often children left to sort out the damage. And wonder if THEY played a part. Doubts rise about true love and marriage. And St. Valentine becomes just a myth.
Thank God there are exceptions. Most of them are couples where a spiritual focus by one or both parties holds on to true love. A bond was formed they consider unbreakable.
Their children see it. As do friends, neighbors, and coworkers. Many wonder how they do it. How can ANYONE love like that?
The shocking truth is that the Creator of the Universe does love in such a way. He has bonded Himself to us by creating us in His image. And despite our immense unfaithfulness, our God tenderly calls us back into His arms in forgivenesses. And full acceptance.
Once this is fully grasped, or as fully as we are able, it challenges us to be lovers like He is. We see people as He does—fallen creatures. Weak. Needing acceptance. Craving for love.
And somewhere in the journey, we perhaps find another soul who loves us in a similar way as our Father. And we want to spend our future with that person. Then we bring to life bundles of joy from our love. It’s a beautiful thing.
On earth we struggle to appreciate God’s great love. Perhaps if this is you, then get to a card shop today and find the most tender, loving, reassuring Valentine’s card available. One that shows lasting commitment. Buy it. Write God’s name at the bottom of it. And read it often.
Or simply re-read these verses from Ephesians 3:18-19: “And I pray that you and all God’s holy people will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ’s love—how wide and how long and how high and how deep that love is. Christ’s love is greater than anyone can ever know, but I pray that you will be able to know that love. Then you can be filled with the fullness of God.” (NCV)
It’s a love to treasure this Valentine’s Day—and every day of the year.
That’s Forward Thinking. Click on the link to the right to connect via Facebook.
You can find a number of YouTube episodes and podcasts of Mark’s program, Moving People Forward at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCosyuBzdSh1mXIas_kGY2Aw?
For more information on the Elfstrand Group, please visit www.elfstrandgroup.com
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